Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
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I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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