i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
