I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
