Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
