Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm at about main and main street
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
