my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
