Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
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