haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
