Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
