There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
