Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
