Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
