In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
