eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
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I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
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Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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