I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
