the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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