I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
