i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You ate ashes out of my bong
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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