he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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