We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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