We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize