Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?