I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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