Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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