i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
