I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
