I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I fill condoms, not promises.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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