So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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