His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Enjoy the penises
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
