good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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