Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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