The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
home. puking in laundry basket.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
