so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
