just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
