Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
