i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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