dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
