i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
