Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
