U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize