sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
A bitchslap is in order.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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