Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
