Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
