I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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