How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
