He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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