grandma shit on top of the toilet
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
