WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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