spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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