Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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