Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
