someone owes me an orgasm
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
