he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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