What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
