My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
